No One is Unbreakable Part #2 - Lessons Learned
We can look at the same situation in many different ways but there are only a couple of attitudes people take. One is to let something get you down and stay down. The other is to grow from opportunities and challenges. That’s simply put but really these things are simple. (Oh and if you haven’t read Part #1, that’s the best place to start).
My initial reaction to being pulled from the course was sadness and frustration. The training was there and the attitude was there. And, at that moment, I had no stillness or calmness in my brain. One thing I’m continuously working on is being still and calm because that is on me. I didn’t throw a fit or yell but all I could think about was that I had been pulled and I was not reaching that finish line. I was already analyzing what I could do differently next time. It is not bad to think about what improvements can be made but I completely lost being in that moment. So as I was thinking about how I could eat differently and hydrate and prep before, I didn’t think about what was in control in that moment….finishing.
“But wait Brittany, how could you finish? You were pulled from the race.” Great question and one I wish I had asked myself at 3:35 p.m. on April 22. Being pulled from a race means the race is no longer taking liability for you. You are now on your own. So what do you do? Well, you go find something to eat, a hot shower and a bed which is exactly what I did. What else could I have done? And this is where we get to my lessons learned.
I could have taken off my bib (#32) and continued on. I could no longer receive aid from any aid stations along the way but Greg could have met me at 2 more crew points and supplied me with more food, water and electrolytes which is what he was already doing each time I saw him. Had I embraced the moment of the dreaded DNF, I could have settled my mind and my emotions and made a different decision. The decision to focus on what I can control…my reaction to being told I was finished. Because the RD controlled not having an official race finish but I controlled reaching the finish. I had the training and fitness to continue on for 22+ miles in the allotted race time and that was my opportunity to do it for me.
Did I blow that chance? Sure, we all do. But now in looking back at this experience, I will grow. I didn’t even think to try for the finish until 2 days later! I cannot dwell on the negative. Actually, I cannot dwell on this at all! This is my chance to share with you to be present in the moment, to still your mind, to take the time to think before throwing in the towel whether it be in a race, running a new business or ANYTHING you are doing.
Becoming still in the moment is no easy task and there is no one way to do that. It is not only working on it when the most extreme happens. It is working on it consistently and patiently. It could be taking a walk, going for a swim, lying down in silence, yoga, meditating, having a daily schedule and on and on. Training for stillness is important because eventually it will happen more naturally. I’m not saying the work will ever stop. That’s unrealistic. But you will be able to be still and make better decisions in those hard (and easy) moments.
I have some questions I will ask myself in those situations so I can come to the ‘best’ decision.
How important is this to me?
Why is this important to me?
What am I willing to sacrifice?
What happens if I fail?
What happens if I succeed?
What am I afraid of?
Who is in control of me?
What impact does this have on me and the important people in my life?
What are the consequences of my decision?
I do not ask every single one of these questions each time and how I answer a question could lead to other questions I haven’t listed. But the important thing is to pause and question AND answer yourself honestly. You can even have the questions written down in a place where you will always see them. You can answer them internally, in writing, say them aloud alone or say them to someone else. There are so many options with this! The point is to still the mind to make that ‘best’ decision for you.
So am I going to remember the race? Hell yeah. Am I going to sit here in the negative space? Hell no. Obstacles are time to grow and learn. In the words of Marcus Aurelius: “While it’s true that someone can impede our actions, they can’t impede our intentions and our attitudes, which have the power of being conditional and adaptable. For the mind adapts and converts any obstacle to its action into a means of achieving it. That which is an impediment to action is turned to advance action. The obstacle on the path becomes the way.”
Good effort. Positive Attitude.
